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almond_butter's Journal

Name:
Penelope von Gurtleschmidt wants to know...
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My name is Penelope von Gurtleschmidt. When I was just a young girl I married my husband, William, straight out of high school. He was an almond farmer who was called away to the war not long after that. I never got the chance to tell him I was pregnant with his twins because they performed what was known as "mau-mau" with a pineapple and he never came home. We all pitched in to keep the almond farm alive for as long as we could, but eventually the Great Almond Blight in the early 70s killed the family business. The twins, Alma & Buddy, have both since married and have their own families, but we all are still very close-knit and they all come 'round to visit me regularly.

I have nineteen cats and hope that some day someone will invent something to keep them from pissing all over the afghans I've made over the years. I'm quite proud of the collection I've amassed. I don't have that many left without any piss-stains on them, though.

Almond butter is a staple in my house and I like to keep up with the price of the grind-your-own variety. As a woman on a fixed income, I have to telephone local business quite often to find out the price on certain items. This journal follows these phone calls...
afghans, almond butter, beets, bleach free tampons, blue boar cafeteria, bulk foods, cats, lily-printed washable feminine napkins, low-fat eucharist wafers, rose-tinted glasses, tea bags

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